Find out what works for you

most advice sucks...


Written by jack friks

Last Updated: Aug 15, 2023

In all walks of life you will find people asking for advice, how to do something, or the best technique for accomplishing a certain goal.

Much of this advice is well-intentioned & may very well be effective… but here’s the thing: No one knows you as much as you.

So when you’re getting advice from a stranger on the internet, they may have some good ideas that can help you, but you don’t need to take every bit in, you can take bits & pieces of the parts that work best for you, your goals, & your brain.

Not everyone is going to find one way of doing things as the best way, it just doesn’t work like that, so why should we assume that someone else’s advice that works best for them will also be our best path?

We shouldn’t! we should probably think & in general, keep on track of finding what works best for ourselves.

Today is about why most advice sucks & how to find out what works best for you, let’s dive in.

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First-hand resistance

In order to understand why most advice sucks I want you to connect the dots with your own first hand experience in giving advice.

Think about any time someone has asked you for advice based on something you’ve seen success at, if you think deeply about it: there is usually some resistance there when you start giving advice & you realize you’re just saying what worked best for you, not really what will work best for the person on the receiving end of the advice.

People who receive advice and follow it blindly will end up not understanding what to do at some point because it wasn’t exactly prescribed to them, this is when someone throws in the towel because they lack the perspective of the person giving the advice.

Another reason why a lot of advice sucks is that it becomes a cookie trail to this throwing-in-the-towel moment. If someone is constantly relying on advice they will throw in the towel when they have to think for themselves.

I have constantly found myself at this resistance of giving advice with heavy disclaimers that it’s best to try for yourself & proceed from there, then say “This is what worked for me, try it and see if its effective for you”. — the point here is that I dont want to make anyone feel like my way is the only way because there are a limitless amount of ways one can go to reach a desired outcome.

Advice defined in absolutes is usually bad advice, & most advice is spoken in absolutes.

There are exceptions to every rule: except this rule.


Figuring out what works for you

Figuring out what works for you is not a complicated process, most just dont want to spend the time or effort figuring out their own path:

They would rather take the “shortcut” which ends up being a poorer & longer path to the place they want to be in their life.

Stop looking for shortcuts, look for what works best for you.

Here are 4 guidelines I’ve made to help you in figuring out what works best for you

Have a problem you need to solve - If you have no problems you wouldn’t be reading this.

Give yourself hard questions to answer surrounding your problem - your brain has 50,000-60,000 thoughts per day: most of which are repetitive, fill your brain with hard questions surrounding your problem & you’re more likely to work through the answers subconsciously. (ie. In the shower)

Try things - the best way to see what works (& the only real way) is to test for yourself. Of course you don’t need to do everything for yourself, like jumping from a high place to see if it hurts. However instead of taking advice as is, test it for yourself & see how it fits into your worldview, & maybe you will find out some new things about the world or yourself.

Create a vision for your future & take in information to solve your overarching problems. (Advice weighed against where you’re headed) this requires one to set large goals. It is much better to fall short of a impossible goal than to hit a very reasonable one, if you want to land higher.

Relative reading material

Books are awesome, & if you read this far then you probably wouldn’t be opposed to reading some books.

Below are listed books that have helped me in the above lessons that may very well increase the experience of your existence too

The 1% Rule by Tommy BakerAtomic Habits by James ClearDeep Work by Cal NewportThe Pathless Path by Paul Millerd

& finally i’m writing a book based on the superpower of creation, “We are built to create” & you just read a segment of it 🙂 — thank you.


Too Long Didnt Read

Amidst the sea of advice, remember you know yourself best. While well-meant advice has value, don't gulp it all. Mix and match what aligns with your goals and mindset. No one way is universal. Question, experiment, and envision your path. Avoid shortcuts; find what truly suits you.

that’s all for today,

thank you for reading,
your friend,
jack ♠️

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